The Heart of a Single Mother
By
Cassandra Rochelle Doss
This article is about the life of a single mother.
I am not promoting single parenthood, but reflecting on how the Lord
has used my past to bring me to where I am today. The Lord has planted
His life within me and as it grows I can see the results changing
my life. I would like to share that with you today. God has allowed
me to see that what the devil meant for harm, the Lord has turned
into a life of forgiveness and salvation in Him, which is good!
My name is Cassandra and I am a thirty-four year old
mother of three beautiful girls: La’Tosha (age 16), My’Til
(age 14), and Shan (age 11). I am sharing my testimony in the hopes
that God can use it to touch someone else. Maybe you have given up
on life or maybe you have learned to ‘just cope’ with
the situations in your life. I used to do this myself, but through
the blood of Jesus Christ, I have a new beginning - and you can too.
“Being confident of this very thing, that
he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day
of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6)
I know that Jesus Christ is able to complete the work
He has started in me. When I am at a bleak point in my life, I just
focus my mind on these words. It allows me to endure and to rest in
knowing that He is not finished with me yet.
It often amazes me to see how my life has turned out,
and I wonder when the years went by? Maybe when I was only coping
with life. Yet ever since I’ve allowed Jesus to come into my
heart, He has made my life an example to my girls, even in my shortcomings!
He has allowed me to instill in them the fear and love of the Lord
as I share with them the highs and lows I’ve been through.
There was a time when I was too ashamed of the acts
I committed to ever discuss them with anyone else. But Jesus gave
me the strength to be totally honest, not only with my girls but with
myself. It was then that I found deliverance. Having been justified
by faith through repentance, God has made me accountable for raising
my girls in a life of faithfulness to Christ. With the help of the
Lord Jesus, I know that I can do that.
“Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he
shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” (Psalms 37:4)
Coming clean with myself also meant allowing God to
have His way in my life and not simply using Him to try and have my
own way. For example, I would often ask God for a husband. I would
say things like, “I just want to be special to someone.”
Every time, God’s response to me would be His silence. He would
not say one word! I didn’t know that God was teaching me to
seek His will over my own.
This brings me to the point of this testimony. Are
we living to please Jesus or should Jesus be living to please us?
We all know the ‘right’ answer, but I am talking about
what is really in our hearts. Sometimes, I would like to think that
Jesus is there to give me what I want, but I know that this is just
my own soulish desires leading me. He has given us new desires along
with a new heart. Part of my growth has been learning to distinguish
between the old and the new.
What does it really mean to be made a new creature
in Christ? For me it means no longer having to walk in the guilt and
shame of having been a young woman bound by drugs and sex. It means
no longer having to bear what felt like a reproach for being single,
desiring a husband only for selfish reasons. It means no longer looking
for the world to fill me because I was incomplete on the inside.
I cannot change what I have done,
but the Lord has changed who I am. Through His Word,
He has shown me that I have authority in His name to bind the powers
of darkness that seek a home in the hearts of my children and to destroy
the bloodline curse of children born out of wedlock. As they watch
the resurrected life of Christ growing in me, my girls can know that
they don’t have to walk down the dark streets I once knew.
The Lord’s will is being established in my life. In order
for this to happen I had to enter into a personal, committed relationship
with Him alone. In this relationship, He fills the areas of my life
that distracted me from Him and shows me just how special I am to
Him. In His love is the promise of being made whole; having all hurts
healed and mending my broken heart forever. No human hands could do
this!
I can understand anyone experiencing the heart of a single mother
and my prayer is to be a poured out vessel for young women in this
situation. But, I could not have written this article without first
experiencing what I have shared with you today. There were many tears...pitfalls...rejections...trials,
but the Lord has brought me through them all. Even better, he has
replaced the emptiness with joy, peace, and love! If you are a single
mother reading this article and haven’t come to know Jesus Christ
as Savior, I challenge you to invite Him into your heart and allow
the cleansing to take place.
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her
price is far above rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10)
Proverbs Chapter 31 talks about what it means to be a virtuous woman
and these attributes start and end with how she reflects upon her
husband. Although I am not married, I am betrothed to Jesus. As His
Bride, I want to please Him in all I do so that it may be said of
me “Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband
also, and he praiseth her.” (Proverbs 31:29)
Some people might think that being virtuous means being ‘modest’
or ‘pure’ but it is more than that. The word in Scripture
is the Hebrew word chayil meaning “strength,
might, efficiency, wealth, power, army.” While these may
not be words we think of when we speak of virtue (or even when we
think of women), this is the type of woman whom God esteems: one who
is filled with strength, might, and discipline as she works tirelessly
to bring honor to her husband and support her family.
There is a place in God’s army for women, and yes even single
mothers. He is looking for virtuous women; women enlisted in His service,
endowed with power, and whose hearts respect the patriarchal command
that He has put in place. He has called us all to be soldiers, but
the question is, “What has He called you to do?”
We can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. Wait on
Him and desire His very best because that is what He wants to give
us.
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